Dont Say It Out-loud
by cpmcpac
Summary: Story begins somewhere in the middle of the Inuyasha Saga, with some changes. It turns out Kagome did not travel through the well alone, but took with her a foreign exchange student, studying Medicine in Tokyo. Long story short, her medical skills proved useful to the group, and she's been tagging along. How long can things stay this simple?


_I'm running. I'm running in the middle of the dark, my chest on fire, heart beating out of my chest. Confusion constantly fills my head, and just as quickly leaves, replaced by irrational panic. The only thought my mind will allow is "Run! GO!" and the_ fight or flight _response forces my body to obey. It goes on like this for an inconceivable amount of time, until finally a new sensation fills my senses. It is the sound of water. Rushing water, roaring, growing louder and louder. I try to run faster, too afraid to look back and witness the tidal wave that I imagine is behind me. I'm losing the battle though, and my legs are no longer obeying me. They won't go faster! Icy cold water hits my foot and I'm certain I will drown._

 _This is the end._

I shriek and my body jumps. My eyes flash open and I'm in the bathroom, water is covering the floor from the overflowing tub. Familiarity fills my mind and slowly the recollection of the nightmare disappears, back into my subconscious.

"Damn it!" I must have fallen asleep while drawing the bath. The relaxing, life bringing bath that was meant to serve as an escape to my anxiety, not add to it. I let out a defeated sigh and turn off the water, then pull on the drain. I check my wristwatch, and of course, I no longer have the time to take the bath I wanted, warm pluming and all. I accept I'll have to settle for the cold lake by Kaede's village. It's disappointing, sure, but I get over it quickly and start packing my things to take with me through the well. Much worse things can happen to a person, as you've learned over the past year with Kagome.

I take a deep breath, and though I was slightly annoyed by slipping on a root while climbing out of the old bone-eaters well, I can't help but smile as I breathe in the clean, pre-industrial revolution air of the feudal past.

"Took you long enough!" yells a gruff, all-too-familiar voice

And suddenly, my smile turns into an eye roll and a wry grin.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." I say dismissively. "I overslept."

"Figures. Your always tire-"

"Oh, I also need a bath after I deal with whatever disaster you guys cooked up while I was gone." I interrupt while walking straight by the impatient half-demon. All while avoiding the glare he's giving me, though I can swear I see him smirk out of the corner of my eye.

"Lazy girl"

"Missed you too!" I yell, already halfway down the hill, toward Kaede's village.

I swing the familiar bamboo curtain which was the feudal-era-equivalent of a door, and immediately the familiar smell of blood hits my nostrils. Overpowering. Copper. As I survey the scene, I see Miroku wincing in pain on a straw mat, and a worried Sango kneeling next to him, holding his hand. He is naked from the waist up, with nothing but a bandage over his abdomen, blood soaking it and now starting to seep onto the dirt floor.

I kneel down, slowly peel away the bandage, and my mind starts processing the information mechanically, just like every good little medical school student has been taught.

 _Laceration to the lower left quadrant of the abdomen. Approximately 12, maybe 13 cm in length._ I grab some nearby cloth and instruct Sango to hold it there, noticing for the first time since I walked in that Inuyasha was now in the room, watching intently. I place both my hands on each of his feet and there is a moment of silence while I count. _Good, DP and PT pulses are normal, he hasn't lost too much blood yet._

"So aren't you gonna ask what happened?" said Miroku weakly, but with a smile on his face.

"You were being a fool is what happened." Stated Inuyasha while you searched in the black and grey backpack you had carried down with you.

"Ah come on. I took one for the team."

"No, you weren't. You were just trying to be the hero, _again_ , and nearly got yourself killed because of it, _again_. Inuyasha is half-demon. He would have already healed from a wound like this."

"Well," you interrupted as you pulled out item you were looking for. A little plastic pouch, sterilized and sealing the contents away from the array of bacteria that you were sure covered any medieval instruments that existed to treat a wound in this time. "I think you were very brave." You said, with the slightest hint of condescension in your voice.

"Thank you!" Miroku said, matter-of-factly.

"I just hope you hold onto that gallant attitude of yours during this next part" you said as you slowly pulled the suture kit from its pouch. The needle glinted in the light that shone in from outside and Miroku involuntarily made a high pitched moan that did not, in fact, make him seem very gallant at all.

"Wh-what's that for?"

"What do you think it's for? I've gotta sew this up or you will, very slowly but surely, bleed to death. So what'll it be? Needle, or slow and painful death?"

"….can I have some more time to think about it."

Everybody in the room let out an exacerbated sigh. You turned to Inuyasha, still standing in the corner, still watching you intently.

"Wanna hold down for me?"

And at that, the hanyou grinned wide enough to flash one of his vicious fangs

The work was done fast, it was a relatively easy procedure, no complications. Afterwards, you and Inuyasha exited the hut, leaving Sango behind to console her monk. I looked down and noticed my jeans covered in his blood.

"Well, now I definitely need a bath."

Inuyasha covered his nose "Yeah, you smell."

"Gee, thanks"

"I'll walk you." He offered as he walked toward the springs nearby. You smiled and said your thanks as you followed him.

"So, any word from Kags?" I asked, trying to make small talk.

"She stopped by with Koga a couple days before you came back. She said they would meet us by the pass."

I nodded, not sure what else to say on the subject.

"So tell me more about this act of bravery that messed up Miroku so bad."

"He's an idiot. We were investigating the eastern hills concerning a rumor about a witch with a jewel shard."

"And?"

"No jewel shard. There was a witch though, a big fat one too, with the ability to control the earth."

"A druid?"

He paused to raise an eyebrow at me, and I smiled back. "I may have found some time to brush up on some mythology."

"Anyways, long story short, I was distracted and she sent a sharp root shooting from the ground at me, and Miroku jumped in the way at the last second."

"Wow."

"Like, I said. Idiot."

"Aw come on. I think it's sweet." I laughed and crossed my arms confidently "I would have done the same thing in his place!"

This obviously made him uncomfortable, though he tried not to show it. "Then you're an even bigger idiot than he is. At least Miroku has some way of defending himself."

"Hey! I'll have you know I've been working out!" I said jokingly while flexing a bicep.

He laughed, a sound that I often tried to extract from the stubborn half-breed, and I laughed with him.

"Been practicing my moves too" I continued, while doing some of the worst karate imitations I had in my arsenal of jokes. We were both laughing so hard, we hadn't noticed we were already pretty close to the springs, and as a result the ground slowly became rockier…and I tripped, falling forward.

I squeezed my eyes shut, instinctively put my arms out and prepared for the fall (which, in truth, wouldn't have hurt that bad at all). But it never came. Instead of cold rocks, I felt warm hands. I looked up and we locked eyes.

 _I've known for a while now how I've felt about this man. I'm even pretty sure he's felt the same._

"You okay?" his face was as red as I knew mine was.

"Yeah…thanks."

 _But there's always been something holding back. Whether its Kikyou, or the myriad of trust issues a half-demon, ostracized from society is bound to acquire. For someone so brave, he had always been so timid when it came to issues of the heart. Not that you were any better…_

"So, umm…" he said awkwardly, and you felt his hands slowly start to leave you (though, you had long since steadied yourself again).

 _For god's sake, I've known him for nearly 3 years and we've always just beat around the bush. Getting close but not too much. Instances like this being the closest thing to intimacy we've experienced._

"The spring is ov-"

I didn't let him finish, as I close my eyes and press my lips against his. Memories of a dream I thought I had forgotten…

" _–my chest was burning, my heart beating out of my chest."_

Anxiety fills me and I start to regret everything, because he's frozen, no reaction.

 _-"The only thought my mind will allow is "Run! GO!" and the_ fight or flight _response forces my body to obey."_

I mentally curse myself, now convincing myself that every moment I had thought there was, every glance, every look, had been conjured by my own hopeless imagination. I feel stupid. I should pull away…

 _"-It goes on like this for an inconceivable amount of time, until finally a new sensation fills my senses-"_

He pulls me in, and his hands move from my arms to my face. He not only returns the kiss, but deepens it.

 _"-…and I'm certain I will drown."_


End file.
